What do you look for in a partner?
Everyone wants to have fun and share good times with someone. Most people try to find someone to spend some quality time with or even share their whole life.
The hope that she/he is the one, gives wings to our dreams. And if it turns out that she/he is not, our heart breaks into a thousand pieces. Is there a way to avoid all these? I believe there’s not…because that’s life…we fall so that we can get up again.
So, what do we look for in a partner? Do we all have the same criteria of how she or he is the perfect match? Is there a perfect match? And if there is one, how do we find it?
According to public opinion, the most common traits we look for in a partner include kindness, intelligence, attractiveness, a sense of humour, and reliability. Are these the only important aspects we think of?
For some people, all of these are more than enough…at least in the beginning. As we are getting older we change our habits, we become less tolerant of our partner’s weirdness, our boundaries become narrower and our will for change is restricted.
So as the years go by and the relationship grows, it seems that the criteria change and the initial choices no longer matter that much. We look for something deeper…something that will last longer or forever…something that time cannot change.
So what is it that will make us feel secure and committed to our relationship? What are we looking for to feel safe and free? Is it possible to live a fairy tale? I believe fairy tales only exist in books and movies. I also believe that if we choose our partner wisely, we will be very close to living like in a fairy tale.
After so many years of marriage and discussions over wine with friends, I have come to the conclusion that a partner must be emotionally mature and empathetic. The feeling of having someone who can understand your emotional state and touch your soul is beyond any thought. Many people find it difficult to express themselves and their feelings, but there are so many others who can do it or have learned how to do it. Empathy provides comfort for both partners to feel unique, respected, and free at the same time. Empathy can make people feel secure in their relationship but independent within themselves.
For me, the perfect partner should be able to forgive and forget and be able to have open and honest communication, with complete trust and understanding. No one is perfect and no one has the answer for everything. Ι need to be able to discuss with him all my thoughts, my fears, my ideas…my everything! He is my other half and his opinion matters to me. Over serious issues I need a second opinion, his opinion, not only to confirm mine but also to hear a different approach. I want to feel comfortable sharing my dreams and of course without being judged.
It’s important to me that he respects my decisions even if he’s not 100 percent sure because that means he trusts me and has faith in me. I love it when he shows me that he is proud of my achievements and success. We also try to celebrate and share our happiness with our children when something good happens. It feels like we’re getting closer and closer to each other and that we teach our kids a life lesson about how important it is to fight for your beliefs and how important it is to be grateful for what we have.
When I’m really stressed, I feel like it’s absolutely essential for me to have my personal space and time to switch off and get back to my normal state. I feel thankful that my husband understands my mood and gives me personal time that helps me reset myself.
I like the fact that he respects my family and friends, regardless of the fact that he may or may not be able to have as much fun with them, as I do. He is the man that respects the boundaries of other people’s personalities…
Everybody needs their partner to make them smile and laugh because laughing is the best medicine when it comes to most situations. We all are so busy and have so many things going on during the day that we forget to laugh. Always start with a smile and do your best to keep it all way through.!
At the end of the day, I just need my soul mate to give me a big, warm hug. To look me in the eyes and not expect me to say anything. To hold my hand and feel the positive vibes that I send…to simply accept me, exactly as I am…
I need him to support me in the decisions I make and always remind me “You can do it, I believe in you!”I want us to share our dreams and I want him to be in all my dreams and whenever I think of him to smile…
I realised that as our relationship grew, we got used to each other’s habits. As time passes, we are getting more mature and accept ourselves and each other. I don’t have a perfect family.
I have experienced fights and grief with my husband and children. We dealt with a disease that came like a whirlwind, changing the balance and our lives. I have felt the loss of the death of beloved family members and so many other difficult situations. Although it sounds discouraging, I feel blessed. I am a fighter. I become stronger when I face the worst scenarios and struggle to resolve them. I’m not saying I always achieve my goal, but as I say “I take the bull by the horns”, which means “I find a way to deal with it”.
There is no way I could have done all of the above without the support and endless love of my husband. He is the man I want to see first thing in the morning and kiss goodnight. He is the love of my life and I thank God that I am so lucky to have him on my life’s journey. We are learning how to “dance” together every time we face daily challenges. It takes hard work to “dance” without stepping on your partner’s toes… Isn’t that the meaning of life?
