The importance of upbringing until the age of 6
Research, studies, and little by little the experiences of previous generations now certify that the first 6 years of a child’s life shape their future. Healthy nutrition, rich stimulation but above all parental love, especially in those important 6 years of life, are even capable of turning off bad genes. We now know that the environment and the way we grow up are the things that can affect our lives. This is not to say that genes do not play a role, but they can’t fully determine the development of our personality.
The attention, love, and care we give to a child from the first years of their life largely determines their future and is essentially an important legacy for them. In the first years of their life, children are like a painting and their parents become the painters, who create their future character. A mentally healthy child is much more likely to become a healthy adult in the future. Similarly, an abused and traumatised child is very likely to become a troubled, antisocial, and abusive adult in the future.
Raising and educating a child from the first years of their life is an extremely, stressful, time-consuming, and difficult process entailing numerous responsibilities and requires parents’ awareness, self-esteem, and patience. Raising a child, in practice, means educating them. Mothers teach them how to drink water from a glass, how to eat with a spoon and fork, how to dress, and how to use the toilet. They also learn to tidy up their toys, share them with other children and respect the rights of others. A mother teaches her child in various ways. In our days, women do not have only the role of the mother in the family. Many women are forced to work or want to do so and if they want to succeed in their work, they must adjust their expectations to what the child can learn physically, psychologically, and intellectually.
For all these reasons, the father’s involvement in the child’s care and his wife’s emotional support greatly enhances marital and family harmony, strengthening the bonds of both the child and parents. The most common pattern is that the mother stays with the child and the father goes to work. This is not only because the mother meets all their needs, especially in the first year when she usually breastfeeds, but because it is the nature of the woman to take care of the child. After giving birth, the woman becomes more emotionally sensitive and all her senses are sharpened to be able to understand and meet all the needs of the child. A husband’s support gives the wife the strength to continue doing the best she can 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for years…
The most effective way to express our love to a child is through physical and verbal communication. And when we say physical communication, we mean a hug, an encouraging pat on the back, or even a simple touch. A child, who grows up in a home where parents can and do communicate with each other and show their love in every way, will learn to feel comfortable with themselves and to love and respect themselves and those around them.
I believe that the hardest part of all is that parents need to combine affection and encouragement of autonomy. A very young child may need constant care, but as children grow older, parents should decrease their constant care, without interrupting the love so as to lead the child to emotional and intellectual independence.
Everything we do and say, from a simple lullaby to a caress, from a “no” to a “well done” in the first steps of the child, is recorded in their mind and soul. And although as adults we cannot consciously use all the information we gather in early childhood, these memories are real and have an unconscious influence on us.
When my children were young, I wondered if all our efforts were helping them to their fullest potential. I realised that it was worth the effort when my children started in first grade playing with their friends every day, either on the playground or at home. I remember many mothers telling me that my children are very calm and very cooperative for their age. It was the moment I understood that all our efforts until then had served their purpose.
That’s why we as parents have to fill this little human’s world with beautiful images and tender emotions. In other words, we need to fill their emotional “container” with love and affection.
