Overprotective parents raise weak adults
I refuse to accept this answer from any mother “I am overprotective because I love my child so much.”
It is unreasonable to control and manipulate children and call this behaviour “love” and “care”. That kind of love is a manipulative form of love, because when you do not let the child openly express their desires and preferences, but instead impose your own, you do not help and you suppress them. And of course, depending on the age of the child this will vary, so don’t wait until they are a teenager or an adult to respect them, because it will be too late.
For example, when your son chooses a game to play, you shouldn’t keep telling him how to play or making suggestions. Of course, you should care for him, but to the extent that you do not deprive him of his freedom, because it will have disastrous consequences for both the child and you.
If all the time, unwittingly, you manipulate your child, then because the child is used to the whole situation, it will be impossible for them to ever take control over their life. They will always wait for someone to tell them what to do, because that’s how they learned waiting for instructions to live. Do you think that you’ll always be there for them? No. And in the end, the role of the parent is to give their child wings to fly away, not to make a golden cage and close them in it.
There are parents who arrange the future of their children without even asking them. “When you grow up you will become a… because this way you will be able to find a job” and so, this phrase, has destroyed the dreams of thousands of children in the world. No, the child alone will choose what career path to pursue and if they love what they do he will make all their dreams come true. I understand that parents are stressed about the child’s future, but there are limits. Do not confuse stress with demanding what you want.
Would you like someone to control your life like this? Or maybe you grew up with that behaviour and you do exactly the same? Or you may believe that because you did not dare to pursue your own dreams, your child will not either.
No one questions the role of parents in a child’s life. It is certainly the most important role in their life, but each person is unique and no one has the right to tell them how to live, not even their own mother. You should give advice, support them, love them like nobody else, but be careful of the way you express all these.
Most of the weak and awkward adults we see around us daily, are the result of such excessive love. Children are not raised to be able to withstand and confront difficult situations.
Ever wondered how your child will feel when you leave? When they step out of your cage of overprotection and face the world? Then there will be no one to say “come on, I’m here, I will help you”. There will be only the hard side of our society, a society that you didn’t show to them…a society that a child has never faced before. They won’t knowhow to be a part of the society and they will be forced the hard way to learn how to live in a new environment alone, by themselves.
There is certainly no recipe for how to raise a child, but it is very important to learn how to respect their freedom and their choices. Being overprotective means being manipulative, so try to control it and eliminate it. Remember, children do not belong to us and sooner or later they will “fly away from the nest”!
Create a dynamic adult, capable of coping with any difficulty and not a scared adult who needs your guidance and “commands”. When you grow old, be sure that your child can conquer the moon and do not worry about them!
