28 Tips to keep your relationship alive
Most relationships start with passionate love and a period through which you can’t keep your hands off of each other, you can’t stop thinking about each other and you share the same views on subjects with few or no disagreements. After a long time, the relationship is transformed into compassionate love based on a deep emotional connection with your partner.
Keeping a strong relationship over time can be challenging! The first stage of the relationship where you are fully in love with a person is an easy and sweet period for both partners. The difficult part comes when you realise that your partner is not perfect and you need to accept that. Moreover, it is quite difficult to accept the fact that being with the same person for so long means that you probably experience the same pattern every day. At this point, people start to put little or no effort into their relationship without even realising it.
A relationship needs constant effort and commitment in order to keep the spark alive! Building a strong and beautiful relationship for a long time is tough. It needs work from both sides and you need to accept your partner for who they are. All relationships have ups and downs. Don’t get disappointed…there are many things you can do to keep your relationship alive!
I have been married to my sweet husband for almost two decades and believe me we have had many ups and downs all these years. Giving birth to our children, graduation, relocation, trips, business success, disagreements, diseases, unemployment, crazy teen hormones, death of friends and relatives, are only some of the crucial phases in our lives. From my point of view, there are some common secrets that can help you keep the “flame” alive and lead a balanced life.
1. Communication
Communication is one of the most important characteristics of all successful relations. It is the voice of our thoughts…it is the path towards mutual understanding. Talk to your partner about your feelings, your worries, about your day, try to solve a problem together, discuss your hopes and dreams, make plans…At the same time be a good listener focusing on your partner when they speak and don’t interrupt or judge.
2. Trust
Trust your partner, your other half, the love of your life…Don’t question their actions. Believing your partner is essential for building a trusted relationship.
3. Honesty
It’s hard to be honest knowing that your words may result in a fight. But, is hiding your feelings to avoid conflict a solution? You are not being honest to yourself or your partner and that makes you feel guilty. The guilt with all the feelings you hide is rooted in your heart, making it even harder to face the truth. Don’t be afraid and talk about what’s really bothering you.
4. Acceptance
Nobody is perfect and the idiosyncrasy of each other is different. Everybody has weaknesses and quirks. Learn to accept these things in your partner and don’t try to change them. Just love them for what they are and don’t demand anything.
5. Compromise
Sometimes it helps to compromise, in case you have a different opinion. Not everything is that important and it can’t always be your way. Think of this: what is more significant for you, to have a conflict or to let go?
6. Step Back
If you get into a big fight try to avoid it by stepping back. Step back for a while, go to another room, take a big breath and rethink why you are arguing. Calm down and when you restore the peace in you, talk to your partner. Protect your relationship from fights, most of the time it doesn’t worth it.
7. Solve arguments together
It takes two to fight and it takes the same two persons to solve the argument. Talk about your disagreements, there is always a solution to the problem! Two minds can always work better towards the solution than only one.
8. “I am sorry”
These three magic words can change our mood and feelings in seconds. Say sorry when you need to, it won’t make you look weak. It makes you look humble and respectful, showing that you don’t want to lose this relationship.
9. Respect each other
Respect your partner’s space, time and character. Respecting your partner’s needs makes them feel comfort and happiness, fundamental ingredients of a long-lasting relationship.
10. Expectations
What expectations do you have from your partner? Can they live up to these expectations? Do they agree with your expectations? Expect nothing from your partner, love them for what they are!
11. Be creative and surprise each other
Be creative and do something nice for your partner to surprise them with no special reason. Cook for them or buy some flowers or write a sweet note. Keep the excitement alive and thus your relationship.
12. Quality time
Spend enough time together doing things or just having fun. Create beautiful memories together, bond and enjoy each other’s company.
13. Try new things together
You are a team in life, so why don’t you try new things together? Trying something new helps you grow as a couple, brings you close to each other, teaches you how to cooperate better, prevents boredom and makes you happier.
14. Humor
In negative situations, a good sense of humour can make your loved one smile and facilitates communication between you and your partner. Try it!
15. Be supportive
Be supportive, and be there when your partner needs you. There are many ways to show your support…give a hug, listen to them, give them a hand, support them emotionally…
16. Appreciate one another
Say “thank you” and be grateful. Show your love and appreciation through words and actions when your partner does nice things for you. Don’t waste the opportunity to show your gratitude.
17. Put your phone away
It doesn’t matter how much time you spend together but it is important to spend quality time together. So move away from anything that can destruct you, your cell phone being probably the most common thing and focus on your partner. Stay offline for a while and appreciate the company of each other.
18. Miss each other
When you are apart for a while, be it a business trip or other obligations, see it as an opportunity to miss each other and make reconnection a special moment!
19. Share responsibilities
Sharing responsibilities makes the role of each other clear and thus, it is hard to get confused. That means you avoid many arguments in your everyday life.
20. Celebrate achievements
When one of you achieves a goal, it is good news…it is an opportunity for celebration. Be supportive and show how proud you are of them. Celebrate any effort, even if the task is not completed. Share your happiness by celebrating!
21. Send text messages
It feels nice when you send romantic text messages, messages of love and encouragement. Our lives are so busy and most of the time everyday life is full of problems. Why don’t you try to “colour” your moments by texting your lovely partner?
22. “I love you”
What a powerful phrase that is! It’s an extra heartbeat every time you hear it. It’s an extra heartbeat every time you feel it through acts of kindness. So, never stop telling or showing your love!
23. Date night
Once a week arrange a date night with your partner and avoid losing yourselves into the routine. Make your relationship exciting! Set the day, the place and the time, get dressed and meet them there, like you used to do when you first met.
24. Children
Having children is a miracle itself but it can also change your life forever. The time they consume from you daily and the energy they absorb are counterbalanced with the joy you feel. Don’t feel guilty to ask a family member or a friend to take care of your children for a while. Take a break from being parents and allow time for you and your partner to reconnect.
25. Set goals together
Since you are a team with your beloved one, you should set and try to achieve goals together. It will make you cooperate, exchange opinions and find solutions. Let your love grow through common experiences.
26. Show affection
Show physical affection by hugging, holding hands, putting a hand around the other person’s shoulder or kissing. You will immediately feel calm and happier because of the serotonin hormones that are released. Make love as often as possible, it is the best medicine.
27. Have time for yourself
You are busy throughout the day so when you get home you need some time to relax and reboot or you just want to occupy yourself with something on your own. Give yourself sometime to do your will. You and your partner need to have your own personal time and space.
28. Kiss goodnight
Try going to bed together and just lay there for a few minutes. Chat for a while about anything. Make the end of the day a sweet memory and seal it with a kiss…
Strong relationships don’t just happen. Hard work from both sides is essential and fundamental. So fight for it and never stop trying to fix all these small acts that damage your relationship.
